I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
