I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
