Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She told me I should be a condom model.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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