nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
