that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think your dad took our porno
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
