PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
