Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
