My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
