loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
