Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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