you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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