At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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