Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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