Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
