There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
