I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
