Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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