dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I need moral support for this bender
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
