It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
