Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
