Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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