I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
