You're my little dorito
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
