How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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