Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
