do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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