WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
