i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
