in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
