Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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