he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
