he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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