last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
where are you?
Hypothermia
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
