he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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