I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Less talking, more tequila
Found your dick twin last night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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