I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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