I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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