Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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