Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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