omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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