ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
