Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
