It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
