i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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