oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
