It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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