Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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