I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
