Do vagina's smell?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
