He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
